


Sold to the Devil

by ibelieve_whiteflag_aslansdefender



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: All craziness is happening in the underworld, Brave Merlin, Bromance, Bromance hug, But he doesn't loose it or anything, Crack? Sort of, Gen, Good Morgana (Merlin), Innocent Merlin, Magic is legalized, Merlin stole Arthur's soul, Merlin's ears - Freeform, Merlin's robes are too big, No Sex, No Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Please just try it so you can tell me how to fix it, Protective Merlin, Pure Merlin, Rambling Merlin, Short One Shot, Stressed Merlin, Sweet Merlin, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, Use of the H word only in the context of life after death, Virgin Merlin, Worried Merlin, absurdity, but for a good reason, confused arthur, good Merlin, no cussing, sorry guys it's just not my thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 04:41:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20091439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ibelieve_whiteflag_aslansdefender/pseuds/ibelieve_whiteflag_aslansdefender
Summary: “Hey, wait! GIVE ME MY SOUL BACK, YOU CABBAGE HEAD!”





	Sold to the Devil

The only reason Arthur Pendragon had been an obediant child was because Nursemaid Rosemary had said if he wasn’t the Devil would come and steal his toes.

When he was fifteen summers old, The Devil stole his soul. But at least the Blacksmith’s Daughter with the warm brown eyes was healed. He’d sworn that day that he was done with the shadowy man.

But here he was.

“Oh come on- I’ll give you your soul back!” The Devil hurried after him, his dark robes swishing like dancing ribbons on the cobblestones behind him, the desperation in his cerrulian eyes making him seem even more childlike. Innocent.

Arthur scoffed at the thought. He was the Devil. He was not _ innocent. _

The Devil seemed to take the scoff as disbelief to his words, frowning and shaking his head fervently.

“No, I will, I swear-I’ll give it back-”

“Of course you will, and then you’ll steal my wife to be your mistress, right? No.” In one fluid motion, Arthur shifted the sword he’d hidden behind his back into plain view.

“Take one more step and I’ll run you through.” 

The Devil stopped, though not seemingly because of the threat against his eternal life, rather in dumbstruck horror over Arthur’s words.

“A _ mistress?! _ What kind of a man do you think I am- I’ve never even-” He cut off abruptly, his abnormally large and un-frightening ears tinging pink. 

Because the Devil was _ blushing. _

Because the Devil, the lowest of lows, the king of sins, had never had sex?!

Arthur gaped at the man, his surprise making his sword arm go fall lax to his side. The Devil didn’t even seem to notice.

“That’s not what I meant- I mean, of course I’ve had-”

A terrible understanding dawned and horror pooled in Arthur’s stomach.

“That’s what you’ve come for- isn’t it? You want to give me back my soul so you can- what? Make me steal your virginity-!?” The Devil somehow managed to simultainiously pale and blush furiously.

“No- _ of course not-! _”

“Because I am a happily married man so you’ll have to get your sick little pleasures somewhere-”

“_Holy Heavens- no!_ I am not giving you your soul back for sex!”

Arthur stopped once again as the Devil’s words slowly clicked.

The Devil had just used Heaven as a curse? And referred to it as holy?!

Arthur slid his sword back into his sheaf. This Devil couldn’t be older than eighteen summers. He was as naive as a four year old girl- pulling a sword on him almost felt immoral! Arthur snorted at the thought.

Pulling a sword on the Devil felt immoral.

_ What was wrong with him?! _

But it was true. 

The boy stood before him, his skin as pale as a newborns, his black robes hanging off of him, his abnormally large ears,, his blue eyes round orbs looking up at him with childlike innocence and trust.

Arthur knew he was the Devil. The master con man. The vilest slime to ever crawl on the face of the earth. The blackest sin and the darkest heart.

But Arthur just couldn’t find it within him to see the Devil as a threat.

“Okay…” Arthur started slowly and the Devil’s face lifted with relief that Arthur was moving on.. “If your not here for sex or my wife, what are you here for?”

The Devil’s eyes dropped to the floor and his fingers tugged at the black fabric draped around his neck.

“Ah. Yeah. Your not going to like it…”

Why was he not surprised?

The Devil heaved a big sigh, stole a quick breath and then looked up quickly, his eyes darting to meet Arthur’s before muttering, somewhat apologetically:

“I need you to legalize magic.”

Arthur’s world stopped.

Suddenly it all made terrible sense. He’d been fooled. The baggy clothes, the big eyes, the blushing virgin- everything about him that seemed good- 

It had all seemed so real. 

That was how he fooled so many- he made himself seem unassuming and good. Made people believe him to be innocent and the stories about his evil nothing more than exaggerated wives tales. 

But it was all a trick. 

A clever ruse by the biggest deceiver of all time.

Because it had to be a ruse. There was simply no other option- Magic was evil. It had stolen his Mother and his Father and the lives of knights, the hearts of their wives- so many good and pure innocents turned haters and killers by it’s poisones kiss.

He’d been fooled.

“I wouldn’t ask, I mean, generally when I steal someone’s soul they don’t get it back, but you see, I really need this ban lifted! It’s sending so many Heaven-Worthy dead into my world because of the discrimination in yours.” _ What? _ Arthur stopped, only able to gape as the Devil rambled onward.

“Hell’s swamped with all these heartbroken Heaven-Worthys who get sorted down with us because the laws here convince them that their evil.”_ We get sorted into Heaven or Hell depending on what we think of ourselves?! Wait- they have magic but their Heaven-Worthy?! As in good?! _

“And you have no idea what a nightmare it is trying to keep them all safe- Hell is full of so many creeps who want nothing more than innocent prey to chase for eternity! And our rehabiltion centers-” _ Rehabilitation centers?! _

“- are so full of the Heaven-Worthys we don’t have any room to rehabilitate the In-Betweeners- and if we can’t rehabilitate them then their doomed to eternity with us! And it’s all such a nightmare that it’s got all the other devils-” _ Other devils?! There’s more than one?! _

“-at the end of their ropes- poor Hades had to retire last weekend, the mess of it all just puts too much strain on his old heart-”

The Devil’s voice was lathered in pity- _ sadness? _ as he shook his head but Arthur interrupted him- holding up a hand to stop the Devil’s flow.

“Wait- wait- wait just a second! Your telling me that people with magic are being sent to hell, even though their _ actually good _ and it’s my fault because the laws against them change whether they perceive themselves as good or bad, which sometimes influences whether they go to Heaven or Hell. So too many are ending up in Hell?

The Devil-this Devil? A Devil?- nodded fiercly, fire burning in his eyes. 

“_ Exactly! _ That’s _ exactly _right! So anyway the other Devils and I-”

Even though he’d just heard and begun processing the information, Arthur still jerked as he understood what the-man...thing said.

“Devil_ s?! As in more than one!? _”

The Devil laughed.

“Of course there’s more than one! Half the people in my graduating class from Angels’ Acadamy became Deceased External Villainous Incindent Lawyers!” Pride shone brightly in his eyes as he continued passionately:

“There are so many Angels who help those in your world, but once someone dies, so few are willing to help them.. My class had the biggest number choose to be D.E.V.I.L.s since the school was founded. We joked about calling the job De-evil, Morgana thought that should be what the acronym really stands for. She became one, and Mordred, and Freya, and Gilli, of course-”

Arthur’s head was spinning. Being a Devil was a...job? One multiple people had? And it wasn’t a bad thing?! It was a- a- rehabilitation for… In-Betweeners? A job to help people get to heaven?! A job that was currently swamped full of _ magical Heaven-Worthy _s who’d been sorted into the wrong afterlife? Because of his laws? 

His head spun. Or maybe throbbed. Or maybe he was unconsious- or he’d eaten bad food or something and all of this was just a dream- but it couldn’t be. 

Because this devil was looking at him with such earnest, hopeful eyes- shining so brightly he never could have dreamed it up.

It was real.

And so was every ridiculous thing he said.

“-So anyway, will you do it? I promise I’ll give you back your soul! I’ve just been polishing off the rough parts these last couple of years, and reinforcing it a bit to prepare you for your destiny. It’s as good as new!”

Polishing off the rough parts? He had been the Prince- he was the King!- he had no rough parts, he was practically perfect! And what destiny?!

_ If I try to understand every nonsense idea he spouts I’ll die when he’s mid-sentence of old age! _Arthur forced himself to move past the silly notions of his imperfections and destiny. What did this strange boy know, anyway?

He started slightly as he realized the D.E.V.I.L was waiting for his answer. 

To the question of whether or not he would legalize magic and save hundreds of souls. 

Arthur realized he had no choice. 

He groaned. His council was going to be a nightmare.

“I’ll do it.”

A smile that beamed as bright as the sun split across the D.E.V.I.Ls face Arthur suddenly crashed onto the cobblestone floor with a thin body writhing on top of him, squeezing his lungs out and squealing.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you- you won’t regret it, I swear!” 

Then there was a _ crack! _and he was gone, leaving only black dust sparkling in the light from the window. Arthur gaped at it, simply unable to say anything else.

Then realization dawned.

“Hey, wait! GIVE ME MY SOUL BACK, YOU CABBAGE HEAD!”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guy! I would like to mention that absolutely none of the above represents my oppinions of beliefs about Death or Heaven or Hell. I saw a prompt about the devil stealing someone's soul and then one day giving it back and it sparked my interest. I do believe in Heaven and in Hell and i actually do take it very seriously, this is a work of fiction that I wrote just for myself to try and better my writing and I decided to share it with you guys in case it might make someone smile. I mean no hate or disrespect to any religion or belief or race or people, if something about it offended you, please let me know so I can fix it and accept my sincere apology that this was not my intention.  
I love you all so much and I hope all of you get to lead beautiful lives!


End file.
